Monday, November 5, 2012

Monday Hangover: I think Doug Martin is still scoring

Doug martin rampages over the Raiders
First, the bad news. Since fantasy football blogging doesn't pay for my mortgage, or even my coffee, I'll be forced to keep this week's edition tight as I turn my attentions to covering this little election you might have been hearing about.  And for the readers who keep hoping I'll go away, the bad news is that I plan on being back on my regular schedule next week.

The good news, of course, is that in something like 24 hours, political ads will be replaced with beer ads and we won't have to hear about our nation's bleak future for another 3 years.

Because while our nation's future may be bleak, Doug Martin's future is hotter than Bubba The Love Sponge's home video collection. It goes without saying that I personally take no thrill from Martin's rapid ascent to NFL dominance, since I like to go on and on about how much I hate rookie RBs. But like I've now admitted a couple of times - DMart is the exception to the rule. In my PPR/Bonus league he racked up a season-topping day of 66 points on 251 rushing yards and 4 TDs. He personally outscored two of my other fantasy teams. The guy who owns him also owns the Bears D, so you can imagine the kind of part he was having yesterday. He's probably not alive anymore.

Fortunately there were other bright spots on the day for the rest of us poor Martinless owners. Chief among which I include Andrew Luck who simply marauded the formerly stout Dolphins D for 430 yards and 2 TDs, posting the week's second best fantasy outing behind Carson Palmer who likely had his best fantasy outing of the last 7 years with 414 and 4 TDs. And since I started the Bucs D I could have told you that was definitely going to happen. My defensive ranking is dead last in my league, I've yet to start a D that doesn't surrender 30 points and 400 yards. At least the Bucs got some late INTs to keep my head above water.

Brandon Marshall and Adrian Peterson also did a lot of work keeping owners' heads above the waterline. You know when you are watching a game and it starts to get a little out of hand for all the wrong reasons and you say to yourself: well, they are going to the ground and I can kiss my receivers and QBs goodbye? The Chicago game reeked of that - the Bears so completely strangled the hapless Titans that I half expected to see BMarsh and Cutler playing with an Xbox on the sidelines. But then something evil crept into the Bears gameplan and they unleashed the type of massacre usually reserved for Game of Thrones season finales. Body parts everywhere. Cutler throwing TD after TD to Marshall. I kinda felt bad for the Titans. But not really.

And AP, well, you know it's going to be a good day when the first time your guy touches the ball he drags it 80 yards down the field for a opening drive TD. Sure Seattle won the game but their D - usually a monster at home - just opened wide for Peterson who ran around like a toddler at Monkey Joe's. That's wild running, man, I'm here to tell ya.

And one more shout out. Well, not really a shout out, more like a plea. I've come to count on exactly one thing from the NFL. ONE THING! That thing is the Detroit Lions falling 20 points behind and slinging the ball so much in the last 20 minutes of the game that Stafford turns a 12 point day into a 40 point day. It's been like death and taxes, you didn't even need to watch the first half, and you certainly didn't have to worry about a running back slithering in there and stealing Stafford's precious points. Well, this week the Lions showed us what it looks like when they jump out to a lead - and I think I speak for 100% of Matt Stafford owners when I say we disapprove. Fortunately I think we just saw the one soft spot in the Lions' schedule. With @Minny, Green Bay, Houston, Indy and @Green Bay on the horizon - we're sure to see a nice reversion to the tried and true.


Anonymous said...

Yesterday was a great day to be a Fantasy Football owner of Doug Martin!

75 points in my league,181 points yesterday...and I still have Michael Vick yet to play!!

J said...

You think your schedule is off? After work last night I had a function to attend, followed by a required stop at Boston Market for the wife's dinner (a perfect excuse to get some for myself as well), and by the time I get home and eat said food, I'm too physically beaten to even turn on the PC and see if my opponent, who had half his lineup playing, had finished me off yet. And with access to the fantasy league banned by the office, as of this writing, I'm not sure if I won or lost. Will confirm that later on.

But there's still plenty of stuff to grouse about. This week's rant brought to you by famous political statements:

The "Who am I, and why am I here?" Award - Hakeem Nicks. Although neither I nor my opponent (the league Commish) had anyone involved, I was much more interested in the Bucs-Raiders game than the Giants-Steelers. Martin was indeed mesmerizing. As a lifelong Raider fan before the Panthers came to life, I was just as disgusted as I was mesmerized. Every once in a while, I would flip back to Giants-Steelers. Every time I did, Eli was throwing an incomplete pass intended for Hicks. If I were him, I would have been posing the above question, first posed as a ridiculous opening statement by Ross Perot's running mate in the '92 VP debate. I can't even remember the guy's name. The same will be said of Nicks in short order. Damn Tar Heel players. Can't trust any of 'em.

The "You're no Jack Kennedy" Award - Brian Hartline. Having been the idiot who claimed Hartline off the scrap heap the week after he dropped 45 points, and never seeing anything remotely close to that production, the Sproles injury forced Hartline into my lineup. I'm thankful for the 28 points, but could have used the 7-pt bonus for 10 catches. A total fantasy stud, he ain't.

The Lyndon Johnson "If I've lost Walter Cronkite, I've lost Middle America" Award - The aforementioned "Law Firm." When Wally went on the air and said he would now openly oppose the Vietnam War, suddenly everyone hated the same President who was darn near diety just a couple years earlier. Last week, I said I had come to believe that Mike Shanahan knew that I had Santana Moss on my team, he knew when I did or didn't start him and inversely instructed his QB accordingly. I'm starting to think BJGE has similar knowledge, and when I start him, he will fumble, and when I sit him, he will find the end zone. Just uncanny.

The John Kerry "I SERVED IN VIETNAM!" Award - Me. I TOLD YOU THE 'SKINS WOULD GET NOTHING OUT OF MOSS IF I STARTED HIM! I'm so dadgum proud of myself for buying the Panthers a win. If I had started Javis-Ellis-Ben-Green instead, Moss would have caught 12 balls for 125 and 2 TDs and the 'Skins would have won. Panthers, you're welcome.