In picking huge offensive outputs from both the Bears and the Panthers (among other ridiculous prognostications) I have set myself up in the comfortable position of being a so wrong my information is invaluable
Unfortunately tonight's game features the Ravens against the Browns in what is a game even a mush of my pedigree can't screw up. Let's cut to the stats of this year's Art Modell Bowl:
- John Harbaugh is 8-0 against the Browns - advantage Ravens
- Browns' Defense is giving up 269 yards per game through the air - advantage Ravens
- Browns have lost 9 straight games dating to last season - advantage Ravens
- Joe Flacco, Ray Rice, Torrey Smith > Brandon Weeden, Trent Richardson, Greg Little - advantage Ravens
- Ravens are at home - advantage Ravens
- Browns' corner Joe Haden suspended until mid Oct. - advantage Ravens
In fact the only discernible advantage the Browns have is that I am picking the Ravens to win big. I'm envisioning Flacco airing the ball out early and often to Smith, Anquan Boldin and Dennis Pitta. I see Ray Rice rushing for for 150 yards. I see touchdowns everywhere. I see Ray Lewis gnawing on one of Weeden's severed limbs. The whole thing is much closer to a scene from Braveheart than an NFL game.
So there you have it, in a game featuring an unstoppable force facing a very movable object I'm picking the unstoppable force. Now let's see what karma can do with that one. If the Browns even come close and the final score is 10-6 then I'm going to have to register my psychic powers with the Alliance of Magicians.