It's August and fantasy football is upon us. Any mistakes you make in
your upcoming drafts are mistakes that could haunt your season like
corned beef haunts your lower GI. You've looked at the angles. You've
giggled at your opponents keepers. You've fallen asleep trying to
read Matthew Berry's 100 fantasy football facts - the abridged
version. Everyone knows Aaron Rodgers is a winner, and until yesterday no one could tell
you how Ochocinco would work out, so we're making it easy by picking
the players we love to hate and hate to draft.
Every time we see that commercial where he's beating up Eli in the halls of ESPN we think: We love Peyton Manning. Same goes when we see SNL reruns of him whipping a football at some poor Pop-Warner kid. And when he puts on that mustache and talks about his laser-rocket arm. Peyton is awesome. Then it dawns on us: Hey, none of those things have anything to do with actual football. Then it further dawns on us that he's got a freakin' broken neck. Then we think - wait a minute...the only reason we are even thinking about drafting Manning is because we know if we don't take him someone else is going to, and we're going to feel like dopes if he turns into 2009 Peyton.
To that we say: Going through life worrying about the other boobs in your league is no way to build a fantasy team, son. So far this year Manning is drafted on average in the late 6th round. Ahead of Eli, and Phillip Rivers, and Ben Roethlisberger! But we feel it is of no small import that his neck was - very recently - all broke. Manning could have a fine year, but he is guaranteed to get drafted much to high to be on your team. So make it easier on yourself and forget about those commercials and get to hatin' Manning.