Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Jahvid Best, according to CBSSports.com, has been cooling his heels this week due to a blow to the head on Sunday which resulted in a concussion. Best has apparently been told that he might need to sit out THE REST OF THE SEASON since this is his second concussion this year and he has a pretty bad history of head traumas dating back to his college years at Cal where he was forced to sit out the last 4 games of '09 because of a concussion.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Oh the irony. In Colts' owner Jim Irsay's champagne wishes and caviar dreams of the 2012 draft he's snuggled up close to his brand new draft pick/Best Friend For Life, Andrew Luck who he prays will learn to emulate the Peyton Manning style of play making.
But what if Belle of the Ball QB decides he'd rather emulate Peyton's brother Eli who famously snubbed the Chargers in 2004 and started a chain reaction that landed Eli with Giants and Philip Rivers in the classiest city on earth.
The upshot of that move is that San Diego has a tremendously talented QB who happens to have won nothing of great value and New York is stuck with a crimson turd who happens to have won a superbowl based purely on a decade of bad karma built up against Patriots' coach Bill Belichick.
Pro Football Talk suggests there are some rumblings among NFL "circles" that the "Suck for Luck" campaign could easily backfire if a team is deemed too damaged for Luck to resuscitate.
Personally I find this preposterous, the current crop of teams in contention for the Stanford QB's services are Indianapolis, Miami, Denver, Minnesota, St. Louis and technically Carolina. You have to throw the Panthers in there even though they clearly have their QB Of The Future because a winning lottery ticket is a winner no matter who holds it (though I honestly think the Panthers are too motivated to find success to keep up this losing streak.)None of the aforementioned teams represent historic losers and even if they did history has shown us that it doesn't take long to turn a program into a winner unless that program is Cleveland.
And there's the fact that Luck is only a junior. So unless he is dying to get started on his Maserati collection he can always wait another year before entering the draft to see just how long he can hold NFL teams hostage with his awesomeness.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
The Lions unhanded the barely existent Jerome Harrison and a draft pick in 2013 to land Eagles running back Ronnie Brown. This trade will surely help shore up their gravest offensive weakness and will make the Lions a better, if more boring, team. Even though Detroit has spent the better part of their (5-1) start coming from behind in the second half, announcers have found some opportunity to point out that Jahvid Best is not anyone's go to option when it comes to grinding out clock, getting first downs and sucking the life out of 4th quarters.
While I hate the idea that an offense as explosive as Detroit's needs a Ronnie Brown to round out the arsenal, there you have it. And even though this story broke sometime between when I sat down for dinner and when I started watching Tosh.0 on the DVR, half the country had already picked Brown up. Sadly the same cannot be said for Harrison who played much better as LeSean McCoy's backup a year ago.
But that is not all, oh no, that is not all...
Mike Sims-Walker, on whom many fantasy draft picks were wasted under the heading of: "Bradford's going to make this guy a star!" He would have been undraftable if we'd thought his Jacksonville production would be equaled in St. Louis. So you can imagine how flabbergasted owners have been as the MSW of the first 6 weeks of 2011 have made the MSW of 2010 look like the Randy Moss of 2007.
Who was it that said you can't go home again? He was an idiot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for a member of the Denver Broncos to get traded to a worse team? Nearly impossible. So how badly do you have to want out of a place to say: I'd happily move to St. Louis and play for renowned people person Josh McDaniels on an 0-5 team rather than stay put in beautiful Mile High City and build a franchise with John Fox and Tim Tebow.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
John Gruden loves quarterbacks almost as much as he loves hyperbole. Almost.
And when he can get them both in the same room watch out.
So when Gruden gets on Mike & Mike in the Morning to talk up young Tebow you just know you are going to hear platitudes of the highest order aimed at a guy whose coaches figure ought to sit somewhere behind Brady Quinn on the talent scale.
"Tebow has proved to a lot of people that he’s a premier competitor, he’s a great game day clutch, hard-nosed football player," Gruden says. Given more time the MNF anaylst would surely have made a favorable comparison between Tebow and Chuck Norris. But with the clock ticking he merely suggested that the Broncos need to revamp their entire offense to make it fit Tebow. More to the point he thinks John Fox needs to institute the spread.
"You accomodate your quarterback if you are going to take him in the first round. (Tebow) belongs in a spread attack."
Football fans in general and fantasy owners in particular are excruciatingly aware of the Madden Curse - the annual hex visited on whichever over-performing player is selected by EA to grace the cover of their annual football game.
For a quick refresher let's go through some past covers to illustrate how real this curse is.
2000 - Barry Sanders. The ultimate example of the Madden curse, he retired inexplicably before the season even started.
2001 - Eddie George - fantasywise he was great, but his fumble in the playoffs cost the top seeded Titans their season.
2002 - Daunte Culpepper - Busted knee = career over.
2003 - Marshall Faulk - missed games with ankle injury, was never the same afterward.
2004 - Michael Vick - Broke leg, was mean to dogs.
2005 - Ray Lewis - Not a total bust here, he managed to make it through the whole year without killing anyone, but he did go the whole year without an interception for the first time in his career.
2006 - Donovan McNabb - Missed 7 games with a hernia.
2007 - Shaun Alexander - Broke foot, disappeared into a giant black hole never to be heard from again.
2008 - Vince Young - Technically he was fine in 08, made the playoffs and everything, but he's been a very public trainwreck ever since. Dream team indeed.
2009 - Brett Favre - traded to the Jets, spent the last 5 games of the season being sub-horrible. Though it didn't get publicly exposed until later this was the year he privately exposed himself to Jets employee Jenn Sterger. Not that there's anything wrong with that...wait...yes, there is something super wrong with that.
2010 - Troy Polamalu and Larry Fitzgerald - Troy missed a bunch of games with an injury and while Fitz put up good numbers they were a shadow of what he produced the season before.
2011 - Drew Brees - Again, good season but nothing like a reprise of his SuperBowl winning season the year before.
2012 - Peyton Hillis - It's a little early to be definitive but last season he was the 3rd most productive back, so far this season he ranks somewhere behind Jonathan Stewart and has struggled with a nasty case of strep throat that is calling into question his manhood.
So just in case this curse holds up I'd like to thank the fine folks at EA in advance for leaving the 49ers and any of my potential keepers alone in 2012-13.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
If your league is anything like mine are then it's filled with people falling all over themselves to pick up every one hit wonder about 5 minutes after he's had his hit. I'm extremely guilty of this with rosters virtually filled with names like Torrey Smith, Denarius Moore, Victor Cruz and now Alex Smith.
By any accounting measure Denarius Moore was an absolute waste of space this weekend having been completely supplanted by Darius Heyward-Bey who apparently learned how t0 catch a football two weeks ago. Torrey Smith was on a bye but he performed as well on his off week as he did in the week following his record-breaking inaugural performance.
Alex Smith had a fine day but now that he's sitting on my bench he's guaranteed to turn back into a pumpkin.
In fact the only good pick up I've enjoyed this year has been Victor Cruz - the ball-bobbling king of the Meadowlands who went for 160 yards and a touchdown on Sunday in the Giants delightful losing effort against the Seahawks.
The funny thing is - for all the fantasy owners running around in mad circles trying to procure the next greatest pick up, in the four leagues I'm in the only guy who seems even remotely interested in owning Tim Tebow was a South African safari guide whose claim to fame is that he stole Benecio Del Toro's girlfriend. Which is slightly better than my claim to fame that I stood next to the lead singer of Everclear at the 9:30 club in D.C. for the entire playing of the Ruth Ruth song Uninvited. He's tiny. Teeny. Tiny. Like 4 foot something. I felt like a giant.
So why isn't the whole world scampering to get their hands on Tebow? I think there are two reasons: 1) Unless you were regularly starting Kyle Orton (in which case your team is stinky) you automatically have a QB that is better than Tebow ever will be. But more importantly is 2) When the only reason the head coach is starting the guy is to get the hoi polloi off his ass it's never a good sign.
Allow me to put this another way. Tim Tebow has been sitting on the bench behind Brady Quinn on a John Fox coached team. So it's not as if Fox arrived in Denver, saw that he had Brady Quinn in the lineup and said to himself "I wonder what this kid can do." We know that's not the case because Fox is intimately familiar with the shortcomings of one Mr. Quinn. And even still he put Quinn ahead of Tebow on the depth chart.
But at 1-4, and with Kyle Orton collapsing under the hatred of thousands of otherwise reasonable Denver fans, Fox throws up his arms and says something along the lines of "Screw It! Start Tebow!" If you happened to be watching that game you will have noted that if Tebow could only throw in the general direction of his receivers he'd be viable QB. But his numbers 4 for 10, tell you all you need to know.
I'm not hating on Tebow, far from it, if anything he made Knowshon Moreno as relevant as he's been since his days in the SEC, which is nice. I just wouldn't put him on my team.
In other news:
>>I had the misfortune of starting Percy "The Migraine" Harvin in a league due to bye week depletion coupled with a terrifically bad team. When I looked at the scoreboard in the 1st quarter and saw that the the Vikings were up 21-0 over the horrible Cardinals I thought for sure their second best player and top receiver must have something to do with this windfall of points. But no. It was, and remained for the rest of the day, all Adrian Peterson who in spectacular fashion racked up 122 yards and 3 touchdowns in the 34 -10 rout of Arizona. This is what happens when the player formerly known as McNabb is your QB. Receivers just disappear like they were in witness protection.
>>Tim Allen, promoting his new show about a manger of a outdoor store ran an ad during MNF in which he chastised fantasy owners singling them out a a group who needs to to get outside.
b) Real men spend their money on rifles and beef jerky not fantasy leagues.
c) Women prefer men who kill their own game to those who play games on computers.
d) The outdoors is like a free tanning bed.
If you guessed D, you win. That's right - in trying to pitch his show to guys watching football at 9 p.m. after a long day of work Tim Allen suggested that we are all pale and should go lay out in the sun because it's a free way to bronze up. Who is he selling his show to? The Metro Sexual fantasy owner? I honestly can't think of one adult man who thinks getting a tan is preferable to watching the NFL. Not one.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The NFL is a helluva a drug. No one can seem to quit it for too long.
On Tuesday Brett Favre basically told the world that he would have won another SuperBowl if only Green Bay hadn't shafted him for Rodgers.
Then Wednesday, TO, in an interview with the always cautious Stephen A, mentioned casually that he went to Korea for a little stem cell work on his 38-year-old knee.
That's right. 38-year-old knee. Stem Cells. Korea.
Throw in Summer Glau and you've got an awesome sci fi movie that 300 people will claim is a religion.
“I’m going to come back,” Owens said. Later, he said, “a month or less, I give you that.”
It's not hard to imagine though, what with a 64 hour news cycle, that at some point former pros far past their professional usefulness would become prime time ESPN stories. Let's face it, there's only so much air time you can fill with a runaway squirrel screwing up the Phillies last chance to be more relevant than Michael Vick.
Though to his credit that squirrel has more followers on Twitter than Jon Gruden has functioning brain cells.
With all the injuries this season the only thing that surprises me more than Stephen A interviewing TO is that 12 news teams aren't permanently camped out on Carson Palmer's lawn waiting for the 49ers to call. With a reported 92 mil in net worth I'm sure he has some space in his driveway. And I know his squirrels are looking for their big break.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
On a radio show in Atlanta on Tuesday the Gunslinger was asked how it felt when Aaron Rodgers won the SuperBowl last year. How do you think he answered:
A) Aaron is a tremendous talent and I'm so excited for him and the city of Green Bay that he was able to bring a title back to that town.
D) The biggest surprise to me would be that he didn’t do it sooner. . . . [M]y last year in Green Bay prior to the first game, I made the remark that this was probably the most talented team that I’ve ever played on...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Since he was always off screen when he said this I can't tell whether or not he was able to keep a straight face. I bet he wasn't. But if the Bucs v Colts demonstrated anything besides what happens when you compare a sitting president to Hitler, it showed us that the Colts will have to be creative if they want to win the Andrew Luck lottery.
Sure, the road seemed wide open after Kansas City (against all reason) stepped up and beat the Vikings...but just because many thought the Chiefs were in the Cat Bird seat for getting the ballyhooed Stanford QB, many (including myself) were overlooking another very obvious candidate: The Minnesota Vikings. Who needs a QB worse than Minnesota? No one. A fact that the Colts temp pool QB and Goo Goo Dolls lead singer lookalike Curtis Painter tried to drive home by turning Pierre Garcon into a professional athlete for one night only.
One can only imagine the uncomfortable writhings, pained expressions and cold sweats experienced by Colts' owner Jim Irsay as he watched from his box, powerless to stop his players from scoring. If he can fine Garcon and Painter for their performance, you'd better believe he'll find a way. But when a team is as set upon losing as Indy even playing against field goal misser extraordinaire Conner Barth can't force them into victory. All it really took was Jim Caldwell opening up one enormous hole in his defensive line to allow the otherwise unimpressive LeGarrette Blount to rumble his way for a game sealing score in the 4th.
1) Indy - It'll be hard to stop an owner who has essentially told his fan base he's tanking, the only way he can lose is if he wins.
2)Minnesota - the Vikings fooled us by jumping out to huge 1st half leads in their first 3 games of the season. But you can't fool people forever, not when you are paying Donovan McNabb to lead the charge. If only the Vikings could play the Colts this year.
3) St. Louis - the Rams are bad. But they already have a QB who is actually good, so they'll need some more help from Steven Jackson's hammy if they want a shot at trading away the rights to Luck.
4) Kansas City - Matt Cassel would like to keep his job so he'll play hard. But the schedule is not getting any easier, I still say they have a solid chance at Luck.