Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tuesday Hangover: The End Is Near

This week's biblical reference brought to you by Tim Tebow who spent the weekend simultaneously proving everyone right and wrong.
Say what you will about the people who love Tim Tebow and the host of intangibles he brings to the table that allows his team to keep on winning, but they are right about one thing: he is obviously Denver's best chance to win this year, and certainly the best chance we have of seeing John Elway burst into flames on the sidelines as his QB becomes less and less replaceable.
At the same time, say what you will about the fantasy owners and their inability to value the things that matter in the NFL (things like amping up your teammates and making the league a little less secular one Tebow at a time), in their devotion to statistics they have been able to identify one irrefutable metric: Tebow is not good at throwing a football. This slight imperfection may or may not become important down the line since Denver can't play the AFC West, Sanchez and the Dolphins every week. And we can all agree on one thing, the AFC West makes the NFC West look like the NFC North, except with better views.
To stay on point here, the chargers are ho-horrendous. Philip Rivers' arm has not benefited from the recent bout of syphilis that has clearly rendered his brain cottage cheese. This particular bout of mushiness brings into relief the age old question: do receivers make quarterbacks or vice versa? My feeling is that this question is entirely situational...and in this situation Vincent Jackson was quite obviously the beneficiary of River's formerly elite arm, 'cause he's not exactly saving his QB from a dismal year.

On to the week:
-I think this sums up my season: in two leagues in which I started Dez Bryant I was playing against Laurent Robinson. The effect of this pairing is doubled pain. Every time a catch was made, all I could see was the number 8 bouncing around in the end zone and was left to wrongly presume that Dez had scored only to find on each occasion that Robinson was the guy with the ball, mocking me.

-All was not horrible though. Even though Dez, VJax, Anquan Boldin, Andre Johnson and pretty much every other receiver in the league disappeared this weekend Wes Welker and Roddy White showed us that it was, in fact, possible to catch and run with a football.

-If you use Yahoo! for your fantasy league you are treated on a regular basis for the mass droppings of a particular player. Most recently it was Fred Jackson after the midweek admission that he's all busted up and done for the year. But after Kevin Smith's explosive return to football two weeks ago everyone and their brother was scrambling to drop Maurice Morris. Having missed the bus on Smith I decided I'd just go ahead and keep Morris and in one league I was even forced to start him. You can imagine how excited I was to turn on the TV to see Smith limping around on the sidelines. The lesson here: Just because everyone is zigging doesn't mean you should underestimate Kevin Smith's ability to get injured.

-My friends/family league has entered uncharted levels of parity. I'd like to think this is because we all have matured into competent fantasy owners, but more likely we've all got too many kids to hustle the waiver wire successfully so the owners who don't pay know squat stand as much of a chance as those who have previously been dominant. At this point in the season there are 6, 6-6 teams, two teams with byes, two teams with snowballs chances and 2 teams that are composting as we speak. Potentially the season could end with with 8 6-7 teams. As any commissioner knows, this will result in 4 pissed off owners whining about the league settings and me trying to find the patience not to tell each of them to eat a bag of the aforementioned compost.

-Chances of the colts winning a game this year have probably been reduced to zilch having wasted their last best winnable game. I sure hope Andrew Luck loves the Midwest. I know the path from Silicon Valley to Indy has been well worn as people looking to escape scenic northern California made it halfway back to the east coast before planting their roots in Indiana. I'm sure Luck will be very happy.

Speaking of dumping games, I figured I'd be in good shape next year in my keeper league if I ended up with a top 4 pick (AP, Ray Rice, LeSean and Arian Foster will all be available in this league). And the way my team has dropped games when I've put a lot of thought into the lineup, I assumed when Vick went down, followed by Cutler (my backup), leaving me stuck with Vince Young I was guaranteed to get whipped this week. Alas, Vince looked like his days at UT and bam! I'm in the dreaded middle of the pack once again. Which just goes to show that it's easier to lose a game in reality than in fantasy.


J said...

I put in a waiver claim for Smith but didn't get him. Our league commissioner did, because he's having one of the worst seasons in fantasy football history, a victim of a roster with Peyton as the #1 pick. Then Smith goes out and gets hurt. I sorta feel bad for him.

Of course, I was sweating blood for a while after Dez and Pettigrew went off for a whopping 12 points combined on Turkey Day, and when Helu (who I claimed when I lost out on Smith) and Ryan Matthews went off while on my bench. Thank God for Roddy White getting all those catches, Big Ben's off day (my opponent's QB), and finally, McGahee's last run which put him over 100 yards and a 10-point bonus for me. It sure is a good thing Jesus Jr. is the one and only reason Denver is winning! :-))

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