Monday, October 11, 2010

Tuesday Hangover - Week 5

Glory. More Glory. And a steamy pile. That's how my teams performed in week 5. And that's not bad at all. Because if there is one thing week 5 is good for besides watching lots of seasoned broadcasters talk on air about Brett Favre's unit, it's for separating the wheat from the suck.
Sure no one is out of it yet, but if you were 1-3 going into week 5 and you limped away with a L. Forget it, it's not just bad luck anymore, dude, your team stinks. And I can say this as a man who owns one such team. In league no. 3, nothing has gone right and that's becuase I don't have the personnel to make it go right. Matt Schaub is usually a quality QB, but even when he's not dropping single digit games on you, he just can't be your best or even your second best player. Kinda the same with Roddy White. Love the guy, but if he's your bread and butter you're kinda soiled. Needless to say I've emotionally moved on from this travesty.
If you got to 5-0, well, you've obviously been listening to Trevor and Reid instead of me. Congratulations. Are you 4-1, sure, you're feeling pretty good, but don't get all cocky. Speaking of cocky, if you are 3-2 you're in the game but you can't lose any ground to these 2-3 guys who already feel smaller than Brett Favre on an Alaskan beach. Boo Yah.

>> The winners this week? Well let's just say I haven't seen "The Event" yet, but I know a mindbending, crap-storm when I see one and the time-travelling T.O. is one such storm. If he keeps playing like this the Cowboys may give him another contract.

>>In fact, one theme rang true this week. Guys who were great last year but haven't necessarily been great this year, got great. Romo. CJ2k, Vernon Davis, Miles Austin to name a few.

>>As a DeSean Jackson owner it is my duty to call for a hit on Kevin Kolb. Those two are in a blood fued that rivals the great fueds like Anderson Cooper and Vince Vaughn, Biggie Smalls and Tupac, Jon Gruden and logical sentences. Listening to the radio broadcast of the Eagles/Niners game in my car I stopped being surprised when every single pass was aimed at Jeremy Maclin. It started to become just a sad but unavoidable fact of life. I imagine death row inmates feel this way. Not anger anymore, just a dark unfillable void. That's how Kolb makes me feel. Pretty please Michael Vick come back.

>>Sidenote: The aforementioned car trip started earlier in the day and as my wife drove I found a live video stream of the Cowboys/Titans game on my iphone, and until we drove out of 3G land I watched that game live, on my phone, in the car, trying in vain to explain to my wife how freaking cool it was. The marvel of the moment was lost on her I'm afraid.

>>My biggest double take of the weekend came when I was scrolling down the scores and saw that Josh Scobee knocked home 5 field goals, some of which were from bonus distances, for a final fantasy score of 25 points. Never heard of such a thing. He was the highest scoring guy on a winning team.

>>Did I mention that Matt Schaub was a team killer this week? Well, he was joined by Peyton Manning (15), and Matt Ryan (12). But you probably saw that coming and started Ryan Fitzpatrick (25) so you're good.

>>Some things to keep in mind:
If the Mark Clayton injury really hurt you, don't worry, your team wasn't that good.
If you've been on the Jermichael Finley gravy-train, you're in trouble, it's hard to wean yourself off a TE who puts up nearly 20 a week.
Arian Foster does not, in fact, score 40 points a week. Who knew?


J said...

On another blog I have decreed that Les Miles is The Luckiest Man In The World. I might be his 2nd in command. Desperate to upgrade my feeble WR corps last week, I traded Finley for Celek and Mike Wallace. I felt I could allow myself to get ripped off because I have Zach "I score a TD every week" Miller (Oakland version) that could be my starting TE, and Wallace saved my can a couple times last year. Finley getting hurt the week that I played the guy I traded him to might be the luckiest thing since Miles' team faced a 13-man defense. I also lucked into Scobee, who I got off the scrap heap as a bye week replacement. And the week Tom Brady is off, I slide my backup QB, McNabb, into the starting slot and he throws for 300 and a score.

So I'm 3-2 and in a wild card spot, 1 game out of first in my division. My negotiations with Lucifer will remain undisclosed.